Forgetting to Cry
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I got into Brooklyn Technical High School. I still have yet to check out their site, www.bths.edu
Sighs... I've been staying away from aim for a long time.. MSN too.
Just now, I disconnected myself from this maplestory private server called DMunity. It was addicting. I felt myself being lured into it. I quit the computer once, twice, and succeeded. But now, it's all coming back.
And just now, there's this person that says he's read my blog. This blog. Is he the one?
Who knows? >_>
I'm afraid to find out.
I still have my social worker visits in the school. She said I could grow up to be a therapist instead of some herbologist or botanist. It's because I have this kind of "insight" thing. I learn to watch and I tell things. I learn to predict and they usually come out right now since I have had so many experiences.
I'm not sinking back into depression. Yuheng is badgering me about what happened Wednesday....
I think I remember what happened. It was all because of the server. I was causing the whole server a item wipe. Thankfully, only mines. I lost my chairs. But... I felt guilty at that time.. I thought everyone lost their chairs and everything. All because of iLoveMaria. I hate all GMs.. literally. Lulu has some kind of grudge on me. Howei hates me in some way maybe. I just don't know. Maybe they don't hate me but... I feel like someone wants me dead in real life.... and in a game. I feel so insecure. Every time I log into the game, I feel betrayed, angry. But... I don't want to leave the game. So far, it's one of the best ways to communicate with Yuheng and Edwin. Best friends are meant to be there for one another. Since I hardly go on aim and msn to avoid IMs, I go on games and they follow. We converse. We share our secrets.
Sighs, next time I post, I hope I feel better.
I haven't cried for a long time... I think I forgot how to...
Sighs... I've been staying away from aim for a long time.. MSN too.
Just now, I disconnected myself from this maplestory private server called DMunity. It was addicting. I felt myself being lured into it. I quit the computer once, twice, and succeeded. But now, it's all coming back.
And just now, there's this person that says he's read my blog. This blog. Is he the one?
Who knows? >_>
I'm afraid to find out.
I still have my social worker visits in the school. She said I could grow up to be a therapist instead of some herbologist or botanist. It's because I have this kind of "insight" thing. I learn to watch and I tell things. I learn to predict and they usually come out right now since I have had so many experiences.
I'm not sinking back into depression. Yuheng is badgering me about what happened Wednesday....
I think I remember what happened. It was all because of the server. I was causing the whole server a item wipe. Thankfully, only mines. I lost my chairs. But... I felt guilty at that time.. I thought everyone lost their chairs and everything. All because of iLoveMaria. I hate all GMs.. literally. Lulu has some kind of grudge on me. Howei hates me in some way maybe. I just don't know. Maybe they don't hate me but... I feel like someone wants me dead in real life.... and in a game. I feel so insecure. Every time I log into the game, I feel betrayed, angry. But... I don't want to leave the game. So far, it's one of the best ways to communicate with Yuheng and Edwin. Best friends are meant to be there for one another. Since I hardly go on aim and msn to avoid IMs, I go on games and they follow. We converse. We share our secrets.
Sighs, next time I post, I hope I feel better.
I haven't cried for a long time... I think I forgot how to...
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