Etsuko Sohma

I am still not over it... I am so not over it...
Anyways, it must be boring hearing my life stories over and over again....
But, I am extremely sad... for some certain reason...
I found out that he's graduating in less than 12 weeks. How can I survive my senior year in middle school then?
I got what my parents want but I didn't get what I want. I want to sing, dance, anything to cheer me up...
But Ming, from my class, cheers me up most of the time. That's cool with me!
I told Lillian, my classmate and my walking-home companion, that I cannot trust anyone in this State with my secrets. The only people I trust is Ryan & Ria from England and Michelle [aka Michi] from California because they make me feel especially good for some reason. I have nothing to hide from them~
I'm still talking to Lillian and I have never told her anything too personal.
In fact, I haven't met anyone who have met my dark side. ^^
It's almost my birthday! My birthday is this Saturday, the 4th. Altogether, it's April 5th!
No one in my whole entire school knows my birthday because I kept it especially secretive. I feel sad that no one will be there to wish me happy birthday so, I guess I'm a big loner. I know that someone online will wish me happy birthday! Somehow....
I know that tomorrow will be somehow better. I never really talked to anyone like this especially since I won't know who you are. I wish that if I had the power to read people's minds and steal people's hearts, I would take my crush's heart and read his mind....
IM me at lboth9 on aim or add me on myspace, http://www.mypsace.com/aznanimefreakx_joycee
I'm really sad that I cannot even cry!
That's how sad I am... not being able to express my sadness or cry it out....
I didn't tell anyone in my school or any of my friends about these secrets. I hope that one day, the person I love will be able to read this and truly understand my love and pain...You can say.. that I feel really bad for myself... for losing one chance after another after all these months. I hate myself!
I have low self-esteem, nothing I can handle...
2 more days till my birthday and counting~
I am reading, The Secret Life of a Teenage Siren. If you know about the Greek sirens on how they attract men to their deaths by luring them in by the music. I really want to be like Roxy in this book. She turned into a Siren by the age of 16 and has this magical flute that can make any man fall for her. I haven't finished it yet either....
I really want to talk to him but I found out that I don't have the courage to...
I also feel that I am having really bad problems lately... like multiple headaches in the morning, stomachaches, heart beating real fast and hurts, too! I feel so bad...
Thank the gods that tomorrow is Friday!
I can feel these vines surrounding me... trying to close me in... I want to let them close around me, hiding my true self... otherwise... I can never be truly happy.
That just made me sound like Yukino from Kare Kano his and her Circumstances.
I think this is all I want to write right now.. this is it...
Thank you for reading my life stories again!
I really can't wait for the cherry blossoms to bloom quickly... how I wish that there were cherry blossom trees at my school...